Then Winter mentioned that a Jeep Wrangler might almost qualify, so we had to hurt him.Īnd that's how we wound up with one coupe (the Chevy Cobalt SS Supercharged), one hatchback (the Acura RSX Type-S), one pseudo-coupe with rear half-size suicide doors (the Saturn Ion Red Line), one four-wheel-drive sedan (the Subaru Impreza WRX), and one front-wheel-drive sedan (the Dodge SRT4 ACR). Sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, which usually entails some Schlitz in a paper cup. Later, when we looked up its test results, we realized we were wrong, but we're men and she's just a girl, so we didn't say anything, and the Audi wasn't invited. Later, a civilian in Ohio asked, "So where's your V-6 Mustang?" and we wished we'd included one.Īnd then someone, possibly Weber, asked, "What about an Audi A3? Less than $500 beyond the price cap and 197 horsepower, which is close enough." We scoffed and threw pizza crusts, assuring her that the A3 couldn't possibly keep up. We cursed and laughed, reminding Dan that a heavy rear-drive muscle car was totally at odds with the character of this group. "Twenty grand, 210 horses," he pointed out. "What about a V-6 Mustang?" blurted Winter, when no one had asked the art department's opinion on anything. But notice that the gentleman didn't want his name to appear here. The latest Mitsubishi Eclipse GT came close to making the cut, but the only staffer who'd driven the thing told us it was "more like a softly suspended tourer than a racer" and would thus be humiliated. First, we summarily excluded any Ford Focus, Hyundai Tiburon, or Mini Cooper on account of not making enough power. That's why we got around to talking about cars on some other day, probably at noon or 2 o'clock. Copy editor Cora Weber was no help in this matter, concentrating instead on her Blatz and often asking what time it was. Ever generous, he trotted out his personal premium stock-Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, and Blatz in cans-and our first order of business wasn't making a list of potential comparo cars but making a list of really cranky chicks who unfairly dumped us in high school. Unfortunately, that's when the squabbling broke out, fueled mostly by assistant art director Dan Winter, who provoked us into lengthy Other Car negotiations throughout what he calls "Milwaukee Beer Night," a weekly ritual that Wisconsin native Winter pursues much as Catholics pursue high-stakes bingo. We eventually came up with six qualified combatants, which immediately dwindled to five when Volkswagen couldn't supply a Jetta GLI. For this test, we demanded that each car produce 200-or-more horsepower with a base price not to exceed $25,000. This feels like maybe the 23rd installment in our series of cheap-speed comparos, but that's okay, because we've made quite a prosperous little career out of repeating ourselves. 2020 Editors' Choice: Best New Cars, Trucks, SUVs.20 Best Cheap Performance Cars, Trucks, and SUVs.Every New Compact Car You Can Buy in 2023.
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